2002-10-04 - 3:53 a.m.

I get the impression that I have fucked up somehow. It's just this premonition I have. I don't even know what it pertains to. My boy Dan is mackin'. Go Dan! I'm listening to Manson and wondering...wait a second the next song on the playlist is Garbage, so I'll still be listening to Manson. Maybe I should elaborate, I am listening to Marilyn Manson, not Shirley Manson. How fucked up is that? Anyway I am wondering why I feel this way. It doesn't really make any sense. I just don't want to do anything I'll regret. In fact it is the complete opposite that is the problem. I don't want to regret NOT doing anything. I don't want to be sitting there a few years down the line going, "Man, I should've hit that shit." I just don't know how to go about it. Ha ha. Jonah, we are in the same boat right now. I know I should ask out Alicia, the fact that I can never come up with anything to say around her proves that. The problem is this: I see Alicia as a person I could have a relationship with. I don't necessarily need a relationship right now. I had a long relationship and I should probably not jump into that again. I should go out with someone fun and enjoy the ride knowing it won't probably last. Now I have the complete and total capability to do this. Easily. I can ask out Codi. The prob is I don't know how Alicia will react to it. They are best buddies and all. Decisions decisions. Drop me a note with your opinions. I love fan mail. Having answered the question of pertanance beginning this entry I leave you with this. I am not drunk, I am not angry, I am not sad, and I love the lot of you.

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The past is gone - Next song. Next song. Next!

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