2002-10-14 - 3:28 a.m.

Just to clarify. I am not mad at Alicia. She is still one of my best buddies and I will continue to hang with her. I am mad at myself for being stupid. I can get dates, there are plenty of girls who would like to date me. I can't get the ones I would like to date. I see girls who are incredibly nice to me and I blow that out of proportion and see it as more than it is. Just because they are nice to me doesn't necessarily mean they want to go out with me. I've only tried to ask Alicia once and she was busy. Genuinely busy, not the I'm busy blow off excuse. I am naive and it pisses me off. Please don't hold anything against her for my childish response to my childish attitude. Thank you all for the emotional support. I reaaaaaly do appreciate it. I definately needed it. Some of you are going to get the biggest hugs I've ever given anyone the next time I see you. I am still hurting inside at my dumbass antics. I still wish I was pretty/preppy enough to get what I wanted. I don't care if that is selfish or immature. Read Darkerside. Especially Dustin. The most recent entry is about the shit we've been talking about at work. Fucking stupid ass preppy dickhead fratboy conformist motherfuckers. May the spiked, multipronged dildo of death find their anal cavities unerringly.

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The past is gone - Next song. Next song. Next!

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