2002-10-13 - 4:24 a.m.

Yes the conversation. You know, the one I said I might have to explain in my last entry. It went thusly:

Setup

I get off work early and go to a party. Alicia's birthday party. I sit around a bit and feel left out as usual. The only people who really talk to me are Dan, Jon, and Jeremy. I drink my beer, I smoke my cigarettes, I mingle a bit. I give up. Alicia pretty much ignores me and is generally hanging all over some other guy. I leave. I come home and grab Mr. Stereo and Mr. Baseball Bat.

End of Setup

(Loud NIN Pretty Hate Machine)

Me:So, how's it going Mr. Stereo?

Mr S:It's alright, how was your night?

Me:Oh, you know, I didn't have the greatest time in the world.

Mr S:Really, why's that?

Me:The girl I like was kind of ignoring me.

Mr S:Well maybe if you were prettier, girls would talk to you.

Me:Hey, that's pretty harsh man leave me alone.

Mr S:Why? It's true isn't it? I mean you never have any luck with the girls you are after because they prefer the assholes with the looks, right.

Me:Well, I just keep on hoping, you know?

Mr S:Ha ha, you fucking loser!

Me:Hey I don't have to take this shit from you!

Mr S:Can't handle it wittle baby.

Me:Fuck you! I try my hardest and it just never works okay.

Mr S:Aw. The loser can't handle the truth. You should just kill yourself for being such a piece of shit.

(I pull off onto a side road and park)

Me:We're getting out of the car now.

Mr S:Where the hell are we? This isn't Hardee's.

Me:That's right. Mr Stereo?

Mr S:Yes

Me:Have I ever introduced you to Mr. Baseball Bat?

Mr S:Well no, why?

Me:Here you go, DIE MOTHERFUCKER!!

(Repeated beating sounds)

So I've given up on the girl I like. I have no chance. As usual. She would rather hang all over guys who don't give a shit, and never will. All because they are pretty. How many times is that now? I have no fucking clue. Thanks Dustin, I was already thinking about what you said tonight and I appreciate the comment. Got to look out for your boys. I'm keeping Mr. Destroyed Stereo as a monument to how angry I can really be. It has been a while since I have been this pissed off. He is on the chair right now. Come on over if you want to visit. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't think I am going to be able to be very social for the next few days. I need a hug from a girl who really cares. Too bad for me, I haven't seen anyone matching that description in a while. Now that I am officially crying it is time for me to go outside and be angry and sad some more. Fuck me, fuck you, I'm out.

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The past is gone - Next song. Next song. Next!

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